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Ouija: Origin of Evil Movie Review

10/31/2016

 
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I recently watched the movie, Ouija: Origin of Evil and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. It’s not perfect, mind you, but it had a number of interesting elements that spoke to something buried deep down in the dark recesses of my mind. I’ll set the scene first, then we’ll get into the review.
 
The movie is set in the ‘60’s in Los Angeles and centers on a widowed woman and her two daughters. The mother plays as a medium, offering to channel spirits for those willing to pay a price. However, the whole thing is a hoax with the woman enlisting the aid of her two daughters to help with certain effects in order to convince the suckers...er…clients, that what is happening is real.
 
The father died in an apparent car accident and all the family members deal with his death in different ways. The youngest daughter prays to him every night in a conversationalist tone, the mother keeps everything stuffed down deep and withdraws from religion, and the oldest daughter rebels in the most cliché of teen ways: sneaking out, drinking, etc…
 
It’s the oldest daughter's rebellion that leads us to the titular set piece of the story, the Ouija board. While sneaking out one night, her friends play with an Ouija board and nothing happens. The girls get busted and the teen daughter has to take the awkward ride home with the mom and we get some exposition, during which the teen says, hey, you should get an Ouija board for the business.
 
Of course the mother does, otherwise, this would be a fairly lame Ouija board movie with no real Ouija board. This is where things start to get a little interesting. The first time the mom starts using the board the youngest daughter who is upstairs and in a completely different room at the time goes into a trance and begins answering all the questions the mother asks.
 
The movie starts to ramp up and the little girl begins to use the board more and more, even by herself. She begins  to show some true ability and even channels what appears to be the father (however, any horror movie critic worth his/her salt will know that this is utter bullshit).
 
Things ramp when the girl gets more and more addicted to using the board thinking she’s talking to her father. Strange things start happening in the house which I think are included just for bullshit jump scare factor (more on that later). Lo, and behold the girls go to a catholic school, which is where we meet their principal who happens to be a priest. It’s when he comes over that things really pick up and get awesome. I don’t want to spoil it too much, but it has an Evil Dead feel without the campiness.
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​First, let’s get through some of the bad points of the film and then I’ll end it with the high points. Jump scares are bullshit. I understand why they are included in horror movies, but they are cheap. This movie was chock full of jump scares, many of which didn’t really do anything to move the plot forward. Second, the movie is somewhat predictable. I pretty much knew when things were going to happen before they would, to include parts that were supposed to be surprises. It could be due to the fact that I’ve been inundated with horror since a young age, but come on, Hollywood, let’s think outside the box. Third, the first 2/3rds of this movie are kind of slow. It takes awhile to really get moving, but when it does, oh man, does it get moving. Fourth, there are some things explained near the end by the priest that feel a little too much like a bad info-dump, and a little too convenient. Apparently, the little girl writes some stuff down while possessed by one of the spirits, and writes it all in Polish (not a spoiler, that part is in the trailer). There just so happens to be a nun at the school that is from Poland and also knows some backstory as to what’s happening. I won’t spoil it, but I did roll my eyes at that part.
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​Which brings us to the good points of the film. The last 3rd of the movie is awesome. It’s dark and creepy. They do some things in this movie that talk to the little dark creature in my body that helps me write horror. I even felt like it was an alternate universe me writing an Ouija board movie for a moment. They play around a lot with extra-wide grins and mouths and off-color eyes which are almost a staple of any of my horror stories. I also felt like the writers kind of knew some of the bad cliches that occur (i.e. not sending away other people to try and keep them from danger, not splitting up, etc…) and actually addressed them in the story. At one point the mother is trying to send her older daughter out of the house to keep her safe and the daughter responds by saying, “that’s my sister down there and I’m not leaving her.” Might not be the best explanation or reason, but at least they had a reason to not send her away. Near the end of the movie, keep your eyes on the background. This movie is similar to Insidious where a lot of the creepy stuff happens in the background. I love it when a movie does that because it’s subtle but effective. 
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Overall, this was an entertaining movie and worth a watch. I liked a lot of the stylistic elements in the film and it’s one of the better horror movies to come out in a while. Is it amazing? No. But it was good. I give 3 1/2 out of 5 planchettes. 

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10/29/2016

 
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Deer Hunt 2016

10/28/2016

 
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Within the last few years, I've developed a love/hate relationship with general season rifle hunting. For one, I love it, because it has so far been the only method I've ever harvested big game, and well, it's still hunting. On the other hand, I hate it, because for the most part, you can't make a turn without bumping into another set of blaze orange. This last weekend I went out hunting general rifle for buck deer near Scofield, Utah.
 
I went with my dad, two of my cousins, and their friend. Just as I had feared, the mountains were chock full of other hunters. I haven't seen that many hunters in my last few years of hunting combined. Orange and hunting rigs as far as you could see, sometimes lined up on the road like damned parade. Equally confusing to my emotions were the amount of buck deer we saw sitting in hunting camps, in the back of trucks, and/or tied to the back of ATV's. I think by the morning of day two (of my two-day hunt) we'd seen a total of five or six deer harvested by others. While I was happy and excited that people were having luck, each buck harvested limited the potential for my own success by a certain unknown margin (I suck at math so I'm not going to even attempt to figure this out).
 
Due to not having much time off, my dad and I were limited to the weekend of the opener to do our hunting. My cousin was gracious enough to take us out and show us around since he knew the area very well and had been successful many times before. The day before the hunt, my dad and I went to the North Springs Range where my uncle works as the range master and sighted in our guns. If you've never been to the North Springs Range, you're missing out. It's one of the best shooting facilities in the western USA. If you're ever out near Price, Utah, do yourself a favor and check it out. You won't be disappointed.
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​The first day was a bust. We saw a lot of deer but only does. The only bucks we saw were the dead ones in the backs of trucks. The next day was much of the same; however, we had the help of my other cousin and his friend.  The early morning yielded the same results as the day before...does but no bucks. During an afternoon push through a wooded draw, I did successfully harvest a pine hen. I've never had pine hen before, so I'm excited to find out what they taste like.
 
Things were starting to look bleak, but as the afternoon wore on, my cousin had an idea to hike through an area that he bow hunted earlier in the ear. He mentioned he saw a lot of activity during the bow hunt and felt fairly confident that we could get close to some bucks. The catch? Well, it would require a lot of hiking. I was game, though, because the further we ventured out, the fewer hunters we would run into, and the chances of seeing something would increase.
 
Our adventure began around 1500 at the top of a mountain. We hiked down to almost the bottom, then skirted around the side of the mountain using a horse trail. At around 1730, we finally saw a small herd of deer. Lo and behold, the last deer in the herd was a small two-point! Everyone in the group knew I was heading out the next day so they let me take the shot. I ranged it at approximately 220 yards across the canyon to the other side, so I set my optics to the best settings I figured I should use, sat down on the ground and set my rifle in against my shoulder and knee. Perhaps it was the adrenaline or something, but my sight picture was all over the place. I tried to focus on my breathing and when the crosshairs finally fell into place over the deer, I squeezed the trigger. BLAM--the rifle went off and the deer hitched letting us know I'd hit it. It tried to run up the hill a bit, but quickly turned and sat down. I'd done it. I'd finally shot a buck after years of unsuccessful harvests. That elation turned to panicked frustration as the rest of the events unfolded. (Warning: pictures after the one below include pictures of the harvested deer. If things like that offend you, please stop here.)

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​My cousin, keeping his eye on the buck, stated that it was still up. We had two options. One, we could let it sit there and die, or two, we could try and knock it down so it wouldn't suffer. We determined to go ahead and try and end it. Since I didn't couldn't see where it was, we had my other cousin take a shot at it. Long story short, he missed and it sent the buck running. We couldn't see where it went so we took off down the canyon, across the creek, and up the other side hoping to find it and kill it. All we found was a blood trail.
 
As we tracked the blood trail, my cousin's friend shouted out, saying he saw a two-point and it looked injured. We figured this was probably my lost buck, and told him to shoot it. He knocked it down and we moved in to start processing it. It took a bit to find the deer because it had rolled into a tree stump hole. If the other guy hadn’t been there to walk us into where he had shot it, I don’t think we would have ever found it. 
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​We got to work, but it still took a bit to get the deer processed. Since we had to hike out a couple miles, I figured quartering it and taking the backstraps would be the best option. I also wanted the hide and head because I wanted to finally try and brain tan a deer hide. I packed out three quarters and some backstraps, my cousin took the hide/head, their friend took another quarter and the rest of the backstraps, and then my other cousin took extra gear from folks.
 
By the time we started hiking back, it was pitch black. There wasn’t a moon out and there was some slight cloud cover blocking the stars. It made the trek slow going, and coupled with the elevation, it took us a couple hours to finally make it back to the vehicle. I think it was the hardest I ever had to work to harvest a deer.
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​Even while I was discouraged to be hunting around so many other hunters, I still enjoyed myself. Where else can you see amazing vistas, hear a pack of coyotes howling in a nearby canyon, see tons of wildlife to include a small herd of elk, and just have fun with friends and family? A bad day of hunting is still better than a great day in the office. Plus, the hunt ended on a high note with a successful harvest. All in all, it was a great time with some amazing memories (although I think I’ll jump back to archery and/or muzzleloader hunting for a few years). 

Ghost Hunt!

10/17/2016

 
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On October 14th I went on a ghost hunt with a bunch of fellow Utah Horror Writers (Utah Regional Chapter of the Horror Writers Association) led by the Pod Goblins (a local Utah paranormal investigation group) at the Benson Grist Mill: http://bensonmill.org/. It was an event that the Utah Horror Writers set up, hopefully the first of many. 

The Pod Goblins started the evening off by educating us on the different kinds of equipment they use, and the best methods they found for using them. They then shared past experiences with the mill, telling us about noises, shadowy shapes, apparitions and EVP. After that, they let us loose to go on our own adventures. 

My wife and I explored all the different buildings and didn't find much until we hit the smaller mill. While we were sitting in that building, we experienced something knocking on the window behind us with three distinct knocks. Granted, the wind was blowing so I was a bit skeptical at first. However, I turned on my voice recorder and asked it to knock again, and it did. I've included the audio below in a YouTube video (the knocking occurs at about second 14). It ended up knocking a few more times after that, always after we asked it and always with three distinct knocks. I figure if it were the wind, then it would be more erratic. 
Other than the knocking, we didn't experience anything else. Some of the other members on the hunt had other experiences to include strange sounds, spikes on the K2 meter, and some decent photos. All in all, it was a great time and I can't wait to go on another hunt!

American Horror Story: Hotel--WTF?

10/10/2016

 
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American Horror Story: Hotel finally made it to Netflix so I decided to give it a whirl. I had low expectations because AHS has been a hit/miss type of show for me. I really enjoyed the first season as well as Coven; however, the other seasons just didn’t really do it for me. Hotel didn’t live up to my tastes, and here’s why.

First off, the season seemed to be more about shock and gore than anything else. I understand that the horror genre is wide and includes a lot of sub-genres, shock and gore being one of those genres; however, without an intriguing story behind it, gore for gore’s sake, and shock for shock’s sake will always fall short in my opinion. Shock and gore have their place, but they need to be used with a purpose. Perhaps they start explaining why a waxy-melty-man with a metal drill-bit dildo is sodomizing folks in the hotel later in the season, but at this point, I just don’t give a shit.

Secondly, the pilot episode felt very disjointed. It didn’t flow well and jumped around so much that I didn’t have time to develop an interest in any character. Combine both those aspects and I’m just not inclined to spend any more time with the season. I’m too busy with work and family that I have to be choosy with what I watch. This season didn’t make the cut.
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However, it wasn’t all doom and gloom, there were some redeeming aspects. The hotel setting itself was intriguing and I loved the art deco style of everything. It gave a unique flair to the world they built. There were also a couple of very interesting characters, mainly Kathy Bates and Denis O’Hare. Their characters felt like they were the deepest and most developed of the episode. I have higher hopes for the current season, Roanoke, but only time will tell. 
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Back Cover Blurbs: Hard as Hell to Write

10/3/2016

 
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So you've written a book, revised the living shit out of it, done the whole Beta Reader deal, and you're about to send it off to the publisher. But wait! What about the back cover blurb? Shouldn't be too hard right? It's only a couple hundred words explaining the meat and potatoes of your story.
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Must be meme Monday or something...
I've done a back cover blurb before for, Consequence but must have blocked the stress of it from my mind. Because, OH MY EFFIN' LORD!!! Back cover blurb must be perfect. Back cover blurb must get what it wants. There is no Zuul, there is only back cover blurb!

You might be asking, hey, why is it so stressful? Well let me answer that question for you. You have to shorten your novel into a small chunk and convey the main idea of the story. Oh, and it will probably be the first thing any reader really reads of the book, so it has to be good enough to hook them. No pressure.

I went through about five iterations before finding one that didn't make me want to slam my head into my keyboard. I'm sure I could have kept going too, cutting, revising, rewording...but at some point you just have to say, nope! I'm done. 

Anyway, here's the version that made it to the publisher. Enjoy the back cover blurb for Canyon Shadows: A Novel in the Dark Tyrant Series.

From the author that brought you, Consequence comes the next book in the dark urban fantasy/horror line of The Dark Tyrant Series. Set just before the events, in Consequence, find out what caused the supernatural storm.
 
Imprisoned since the creation of the world, an ancient cosmic being waits deep in the mountain near Canyon Shadows, Utah. He waits deep in the mountain for the proper host in order to break free from his chains. That host draws near.

Sheriff Dan Blackwood is hiding a dark secret and an even darker past. However, his secret could be the only thing that stands between the mountain and the world’s destruction
.
Garrett Porter is an antiques dealer suffering from the recent loss of his wife and daughter. He travels to Canyon Shadows on the trail of a unique artifact but finds more than expected in the sleepy town.

Troy Grimes searches for answers regarding his father’s recent, yet mysterious suicide. His investigation brings him closer and closer to Canyon Shadows and his sanity begins to crack as he nears the mountain; however, he’s starting to like it.

Templars, Anasazi, as well as Christian and Native American legends, come together in this fast-paced novel of good, evil, and everything in-between. 
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