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"Marketing Hell"

12/2/2013

 
"Marketing Hell"
-by C.R. Langille

Lucy kept the pink slip Lower Management gave her; it hung on the wall of her cubicle in a cheap frame. They had the nerve to fire her just before the holidays. That was the best time for marketing, and they canned her. They claimed it wasn’t her, it was the economy. That there wasn’t enough resources to keep everyone on. Buckets of bullshit coated in chocolate.

With her experience and wiles, it hadn’t been hard to find other employment. Unfortunately, that employment turned out to be an entry-level job at a target marketing corporation.

At first, she was excited; target marketing was her specialty. Lucy had an uncanny knack of knowing exactly what a client wanted. However, this wasn’t the working environment she had in mind.

Her cubicle was grey, tiny, and unremarkable. The pink slip decoration was the only thing that set her cubicle off from the others. Plus, the job didn’t offer the kind of target marketing she enjoyed.

Lucy missed the thrill of the hunt. This was easy, which meant it was also boring. Here, the clients came to you. Where was the fun in that? She had to make a living though, and they couldn’t stop her from freelancing during her lunch hour.

It was time to get some real work done. Lucy checked to make sure no one was watching; it wouldn’t do to have an audience. Others may not understand, or approve of her methods.

Lucy logged into her personal mail account and started hunting. It didn’t take long before she found her potential client. Victor Marx, a thirty-something living in Whogivesashit, USA. She scrolled through the information on Victor and stopped halfway through—perfect. An impish smile slithered onto her face.

It appeared that Victor used to play Battlecraft. Lucy had to hand it to Lower Management for making that game. Pure genius. That game was more addicting than a hit of meth.

Lucy sent Victor an email with a promotional offer. Return to the game today, and get two months for free, plus double XP! It wasn’t long before he took a nibble at the hook. Giggles of excitement bubbled through her as she made her next move.

She placed an ad onto his FaceHangOut account stream. Lucy could almost taste his desire to play. Just one last step and Victor would take the plunge.

Victor started the download. Lords of Darkness be praised! Lower Management had to take her back. They’d see that they had made a mistake when they fired her. She was the best damn devil Hell had. Maybe they would even promot--

Victor stopped the download. No! Lucy sent him another ad, but it was no use. Victor logged off his computer.

She banged her head on the desk. A slight cough sounded from behind her—her new boss.

“Miss Fur, we have a policy about decorating your workspace.”

She sighed and took the picture frame off the wall. Marketing was hell.




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